My wife is a full-blown alcoholic

My wife is a full-blown alcoholic. 

My wife is a full-blown alcoholic. Every few days, I find a new bottle of vodka hidden in random parts of the house. She tries to hide it by brushing her teeth or chewing gum, but she can’t cover her flushed red cheeks the moment the alcohol enters her system. I can see it from a mile away. She drinks to sleep at night, which causes bad sleep. She’s constantly fighting with me about the most stupid things possible. Last night was her birthday and I went out of my way to do so many things to make her feel special, and she basically ruined the night screaming about nonsense so much that our 2 1/2 year-old had to tell her “mommy it is your birthday stop yelling”.

She brought home some gifts from work and one of the gifts was a plant in a vase, which was wrapped with glued together pencils. They were simply held together with a dab of hot glue. When it was on the counter-top, our 4 1/2-year-old daughter was interested in it, and she took one of the pencils off, and my wife flipped out on her. And she starts frantically searching for glue to repair something that is meant to be taken apart anyway. She glues it back together and leaves it sitting on its side. About 20 or so minutes later, I put it back upright, and she flips out because now the crazy glue dripped on the counter-top. She makes a big deal of glue on the counter-top, which takes 30 seconds to clean up with a Brillo pad, because I said "O I got crazy glue on the counter-top, I thought it would be dry by now.” She goes into this whole rant that I’m calling her a liar, and I’m making up things that I don’t know what I’m talking about. So I scraped the remaining dried glue with the spatula and then rinsed off the spatula, and she started fighting with me that I didn’t clean the right way. She is glaring at me from across the kitchen with bright red cheeks from sneaking vodka, yelling, and cursing, causing a whole scene where my two little innocent babies need to tell her to stop. It’s her birthday. She should be happy.

She then complains that I didn’t plan anything for her birthday. “ Everything I did was at the last minute”. On Tuesday she told me her car smelled like rotten eggs, so on Wednesday I took it and I found the problem and I fixed it and ordered new parts for her car. I then took her car to get detailed because it was disgustingly dirty when I went to pick it up from being detailed it needed a new battery, so I went and took care of that. Between the battery, the car detailing and the car parts, it costs about $450. I said "don’t worry about it babe". Happy birthday. It’s on me. Then I rushed to pick the kids up from preschool. I took them to the supermarket to pick out a cake, cards and candles. I tried to make the night as special as I could. We were going to go out for dinner, but she said she wanted to stay in because she was tired, and she would just order sushi because I had already spent enough money.

She then proceeds to tell me how disappointed she is that she had to buy her own birthday dinner, and after I told her that I am a little upset about how she’s behaving and that I ran around like crazy and spent about $500 for her today, her response was “Nobody asked you to do those things, and I’m sorry that you don’t make enough money because $500 is not a stressful amount for you to spend.”

She then went to say “this is not how love works”, then compared me to my friend and his wife who basically don’t ever do much on their birthdays for each other.

This morning after she left for work, I found a bottle of vodka hidden inside one of my kids' backpacks that usually has their toys in it. I found another bottle of vodka in our closet. Last week I found two or three bottles of vodka scattered around the house.

I can’t take this mess anymore and do not know how to handle it. Anything can set her off at any time, and it ruins the whole day. All the good that I try and do comes up meaningless as she rages at anything she sees fit to rage about, and then blames me for not always complying or agreeing, or bowing down to her request.

She eats THC edibles every morning and every evening before and after work. She is a special ed teacher, and she can’t manage the staff or children in her room anymore. This morning, I found the THC edible in a Ziploc bag on the floor next to where the kids play. It had to have fallen out of her bag.

I’m at my wits' end here, and I don’t know what to do anymore.

What’s your opinion 🤨?